Hie. My name is Zoleka Valerie. But feel free to call me anything that suits your gallery, your gallery of what you define as art, anything that you have in your heart.
Feel free to call me “babygirl”. Yes, please go ahead and forget that just a few moments ago i said i was Valerie. Call me your baby so as to sweeten your bitter sweet sick intensions with with me and mess with my ability to make sound decisions.
Feel free to call me fat. oh, wait it’s thick now? Feel free to call me skinny and tell me i look sick. Feel at ease, to call me dark because i am melanin enriched. Feel free to call me your “throwback” because you have moved onto better “things”. Feel free to to call me dumb and put me down because i will not let my pants down. Feel free to call me a burden because to you i am not golden, enough. Call me the “before” of every makeup/weight loss advertisement because according to you there is a better me out there and according to you i am not worthy. Call me a whore because at 16 i’m too thick with a mini thigh gap or… Call me ugly because my braces didn’t close my tooth gap.
No please. Forget that i said my name is Zoleka. Forget i have a heart. Forget i am the Lord’s piece of art.
A master piece, that you do not see beauty in because you could not pin against the wall.
Forget i am human too. Forget i feel. Forget it all.
Lets pretend the words don’t stab me at 3 am, when you are deep in your sleep. Let us be unaware of that all you say does not leave prominent deep scars. Lets ignore my silent loud cries amid the bursts of laughter from friends when i’m called fat/ugly. Let’s pretend i’m made of steel. So you can steal my happiness. After all i am here to please you, ain’t i?
i am not here for you.
I have more to live for. I can’t be weighed down by your broken scale. Or have you decide much love i deserve according to the height of your desires at 3am. You being the devil you are once told me “I was not strong enough for the storm” and unfortunately for me, i believed it for a young minute but
I prayed. I prayed and i have been made to see that i can’t fight the storm because i am the storm. I am Valerie. I am worthy ❤
And you… you need saving.